Process the first--My inbox for the public address is scary. It takes weeks to get thru it all--and that's when I'm not mid-story b/c mid-story time means I don't even read email. Your best bet is going thru my agent. She & the editors (and my mother, actually) have a private address that goes directly to the file I read daily. It mean seem like it'd be slower, but it's faster to go thru them

. . . and by "them," I mean my editor or agent not my mother :) My mother's involvement in my job is 1) if I get 2 author copies, she gets one, 2) I fuss at her over stuff I can't angst over in public, and 3) silly woman is still a helluva support system. No matter how panicky I get , wringing my hands, & saying "it all sucks!" she tells me it'll be okay.

Anyhow . . .

* I don't blurb MG (middle grade) or horror.
* I prefer urban fantasy (adult or YA), contemp non-fantasy YA, & paranormal romance. I especially love vampires, werewolves, bi or gay MCs, feminist, social issues . . . but I also like light fluffy stuff too. Just not Disney type "fairies" :)
* Reading doesn't mean I'll blurb. I don't throw my name out there without thought
* My liking you doesn't mean I'll blurb your book--or that I won't. The 2 are utterly unrelated.
* If your readers aren't an appropriate audience for my text (i.e. middle grade fiction), I cannot blurb your text b/c it would be unethical. I don't want middle grade readers reading Ink Exchange (or WL). My kids look at the authors who are listed on covers & check them out. I cannot do something that will encourage MG readers to read my book.

I like prologues. All three of my novels so far have a prologue & epilogue.

In WL, the prologue takes place at a different point in time. The rest of the chapters are in close linear time. It highlights an event that is plot-central, but doesn't require a full chapter to depict. It's the "moment" that sets into motion the rest of the story. One could argue that the Epi is less essential in re: storyline, I suppose, but I am a dénouement fan. The Epi lets me assure that my threads are tied off. (I do the same thing in INK.)

Arguably, events/moments set other things into play. Seeing a particular moment through a specific character's pov highlights a "moment" with consequences that are the plot of the book to follow. Of course, imho, it's who's "telling" the moment that makes it the prologue. To Keenan, the events in that prologue weren't a moment but one in a seemingly infinite series of failed attempts. To Donia (& eventually to Ash), that same tableau is The Moment.

Prologues & epilogues are, by necessity, short sequences. This gives the events more oomph & signposts that the events in these sections of text will have Consequences That Matter (prologue) or are the end result of what has happened (epilogue).

So I guess I put them there for 3 reasons-- 1) the events are out of the time sequence in the overall text, 2) the "moment" thing I was just rambling about, & 3) they allow for emphasis by structure (kinda like using a simple sentences in conjunction with a number of compound & compound complex sentences).

Are they necessary? I dunno. I put them there for a reason though, so I find them necessary. Whether or not readers will agree is a question I can't answer though.

Is Keenan going to stop and think of his father by his given name? Nope. Is Beira? Nope. So that detail is omitted for the time. As a reader I get frustrated when a text bogs down in backstory & obvious world extension. It feels artificial, like the writer is all about telling the reader the world. I'd rather a slower unwrapping; it feels closer to real to me.

Now there are lots of ways to read the "show don't tell" phrase that is tossed about so much. One has to tell some things, imo. This is simply the way life works, and to me, that means it's how text must work as well. Text is to be replication of aspects of life, so in life there are times we'd tell things. There are times we think things that are "telling" . . . Ergo these are fine in text sometimes as well. I walk a line btw implementing what pleases me as a reader & approaching text like life caught in a frame.

Giant paragraphs of world building bore me though, so I tend to omit them (even though I have one editor who sometimes wants more of them). Paragraphs of setting visuals make more sense to me though, as when I look at the world these are the details that filtre into my mind. I think I tend to give the setting fixation to the characters whether I mean to or not . . . but finite depictions of characters' appearance feel artificial to me--partly because they are inevitably subjective and partly because my mind refuses to process that way. When I meet people, I tend to focus in on a few key details. These are the details that anchor in my mind as cues so I can identify this person later. My recall is often spotty so I need a few anchors to label the image in my head with that person. Sometimes these are visual, but sometimes they aren't. This feels "real" to me, so I think it's my inclination in text. . . plus, again, that whole subjective thing.

What I assess & note as "attractive" might not be what you do, so if I affix precise images to a character I'm trying to convey as attractive and those aren't the details that match the term "attractive" for you my purpose is thwarted by adding those precise modifiers.

Of course . . . if one looks at the terms we often utilize for descriptors the limitations become pretty obvious too. Eyes, hair, height. Let's see. *yawn* I'm 5'2" , blue eyes, long hair. Clothes? Hmm, black skirt & white-ish top. If say we're meeting at a bar & that's what you use to find me, we might miss our appointment. Aside from the height there's nothing useful in that description. Add "snarled" to the hair, that might help. Better still, add "likely to be sitting with back to the wall" or "probably wearing boots of some sort." It's not the eyes/hair/height that give a real cue; it's the details with connotations that help.

Take a group of people wearing similar clothes--publishing folks at BEA, frex. There's a lot of people with shoulder length hair (tidily contained) wearing black clothes & sensible pumps. I located my black-clothes-clad agent by her walk. (I'll pick on her b/c her picture's online.) Hers is a very long stride (she towers over me), alternating between purposeful and pause-oh-wow-look-at-this, and ends in impractical shoes.

Or maybe that's just, yanno, b/c of my perspective, my point of view ;) I'm short, amused by her bouts of look-at-this, and like shoes. So those are the details that I file away under the label "Rachel Vater." I can't honestly tell you what colour her eyes are, if she wears glasses, or how she wears her hair. I know her hair is dark. I can say with pretty good certainty that she HAS two eyes. She usually carries a mid-sized bag.

So I guess which details go in the paragraphs are decided somewhere btw subjectivity & what we naturally notice. I notice buildings more than eyes :)

We can't assure happiness for anyone. We can't "fix" the broken pieces or un-do stress for others in our lives. We can worry, listen, suggest, but in the end we are unable to truly do anything. We are relegated to watching, seeing probabilities, & hoping. I believe this is true of characters too.

No, I'm not saying my characters are alive & dictating. I tend to think that what authors mean when they talk about their characters doing/being/acting in unexpected ways is that there are projected paths for our characters. We see those, but as we write forward there are times that the ripples aren't as small as we might expect. In our process, perhaps in the part of our minds where the muses reign, we do realize that the likelihoods of different paths have changed. Our conscious minds, though, still think of that original projection so when it doesn't fit we are surprised that a character has acted in a way we hadn't originally predicted.

[Tangent--Sometimes I think this is my biggest objection to plans/outlines in life & writing, trying to force a path or a character in a direction just b/c we expected it to be that way--or worse yet, b/c of others expectations--is the stuff of disasters & unhappiness. IMHO this attitude can lead to awkward plot twists to force a Planned Ending or unhappiness in real life when we try to force reality to conform to a Plan.]

There's an ending I really would like to see happen. I can argue quite logically that it could make sense, but it's not in keeping with this character's personality. I can't give the example here that I'm writing . . . or INK . . . or the manga . . . *pause* Hmm, all I can give is an example from WL. I wanted Beira to compromise with Keenan. I tried writing it. She wouldn't say that though. It wasn't realistic for her. The character traits she possesses, the actions she's taken previously, the motivations she has . . . Compromise wasn't a valid option.

Now, people--and characters--can (and do) take surprising turns, but there are usually smaller curves before a veering. There are hints. There are cues. Completely out of the blue turns aren't as feasible. As I write I can see the potential outcomes as time moves forward, like threads drifting about depending on the angle of the breezes. But as the future part of the threads gets closer in linear time some directions are more likely for a character (or person).

When I started seriously trying this writing thing, I scrawled my ideas in a sorta poetry thing. I had started writing my ideas this way when I was 12, so I figured I'd give a go now too. The idea isn't really about writing a poem, but about capturing the concept--anchoring it my mind so I can recall the idea & the feeling later. It's like writing a dream journal. My memory requires anchors to function.

Taking photos does that for me too. I tend to think of memories in still pictures. (I tend to retain data this way too & my recall for exams took the form of visualizing the placement on a page from a notebook in my mind & "reading" my notes.)

So I was looking for a text earlier . . . and found no less than 4 short texts having to do with tattoos, living art, & several other threads that become imagery in INK. I have 6 selchie poems, 2 selchie short stories for children (not YA, but wee ones). . . I can see evolutions & now there's a selchie short story in the anthology in 2008. I see the start of a story I set in the place where the manga is now set (started in 2005) & three poems set there.

In a moment of curious speculation, I looked at the threads, the poems, the various 2-6 page texts, and the piles of sentences that litter my notebooks & hard drives. I see patterns. I see Ms Muse leading me in ever-tightening circles around a few specific ideas. I know that 3 of these are ideas for books I hope to write.

Of course, my fav trick is to look at the files of random sentences & see if they work or if they are too brief. Sometimes, they anchor exactly what I was thinking in terms of character & story.

his feet moved relentlessly, leading them into [omit]

[Her] hands didn't shake any more, but her feet wouldn't move as they should. Like marionettes whose strings were directed by a sadistic puppeteer, they reached and stumbled, missed and stopped.

There weren't words she knew, and silences refused to bend into the meanings that waited just out of her grasp.

I know what these characters looked like and where they are and what the immediately previous event was . . . Little anchors to hold on to the key ideas until the rest of the story appears. . . or, yanno, doesn't :) I like it

Of course I also see an inordinate amount of horror bits. I've explained to myself very carefully though that I really don't intend to write that story. Ms Muse is laughing though, so I fear it's a matter of which of us gives in first.

One way this is phrased is "how do you research?" That one really varies as to which thing you are researching. For the first book, one random research topic was school uniforms. No joke. I went to online shops (& one store) and found ordering information on uniforms. I chose school colours & decided on the uniform that would be worn. I also looked at school curriculum guides. What classes would be standard? Advanced? What would be an appropriate reading list? For the second book, I had to research the making of tattoo inks, as well as the metals that would & could be used in tattoo machines. I also had to get more tattoos . . . Oops. That was the side effect of the research, not actual research. ;)

Hmm. What else? I went to a few comic shops looking at store layouts for the right setting. I went walking with my camera for buildings & streets & vistas that fit the mood I needed. I skimmed innumerable songs to find the ones that set the moods I needed for writing. I researched wolf behaviour so I could give the right visual details to "accepting" vs "threatening" posture. I researched name meanings so I could give characters names that often would give potential plot or personality clues. All of this was fun. All of it resulted in far more data than I actually use in text.

Often though, I think when people ask me about research they mean research about faeries. I'm not quite sure how to answer that. I don't research as directedly there. Usually I don't have a specific fact I am seeking. Folklore research usually is my grabbing a pile of books of the shelf & reading for a few hours. It's an immersion process wherein I try to plug myself into the mindset wherein the folklore is fact.

Sometimes though it's a researching to clarify if what I recall is what the text said or if my memory is skewed or if some oral tale or bit of fiction is getting in the way of what the older sourcetext says. Sometimes it's collecting a variety of similar texts & seeing which of these is the one I'm going to hold as truth.

Sometimes it's about making a choice. My most obvious example is in the case of Fear Dorocha. (The Dark Man) That would "fear" (man) is often anglicized to "far." I prefer the "Fear Dorocha" way of it, and I was chastized by a Folklorist for using "far." Thing is, though, if I say "Fear Dorocha" much of my readership will say "fear" not "far" (although "far" isn't quite the way it's meant to be said). Fear is a very specific emotion. If I used the spelling with the "e" the meaning feels like it's shifted by the idea of fear, fright, terror. I made a choice. I angsted. I researched. Then I was chastized by a Folklorist . . . Is my choice the right way? I don't know. What I do know is that I researched.

The manga writing continues in terms of researching odd things. I had to find out the proper way to fall if one was dropped from a cliff. . . without, yanno, jumping off a cliff or dropping anyone.

For those who haven't read it, I'll share these details-- there are 2 "sex scenes" in the book, but neither are graphic. The first is almost entirely off screen. The second is in front of the reader only in the pre-intercourse part. Both are in relationships where love is an established fact. Both are consensual. Both are the end result of much consideration, including contemplating the possible consequences & in in-text reference to STDs and safety.

Still some readers have expressed irritation that there's "so much sex" in the book. One reader "would've enjoyed" the book if there "wasn't so much sex and swearing." [NOTE: There is swearing, but that's a topic we can tackle another day. I did blog abt this at length before, but it's a fun topic to ponder so I'll go there again.]

OTOH, other readers have said "I wish you'd leave the door open [on the sex scenes]" (not just one reader either. One review even mentioned this.).

Some readers have liked the "responsible way sex was handled."

One reader lamented my using sex [and language] for "shock value to sell books."

It's not just WL though. A friend of mine read the second novel, Ink Exchange, and told me it was awfully "adult." Hmmm. He had to pause when I asked if he thought it was too adult for his 13 year old son. . . keep in mind here that said 13 yr old is a very intelligent, mature young man. The end answer was that yes, the book was ok for his son, but not for some of his son's friends (which is fine, of course). What struck me here though wasn't the parenting angle (he's an amazing dad), but the seeming shock in his voice as an adult reading the book. It made me look back at the two books & wonder if there was more sex in there than I remembered. (There's not.) Or if it was on screen (nope). So what's going on here?

I'm very grateful for all of these reactions (perhaps more so b/c they're varied which pleases me), but I still must ponder. You know me, folks: I'm a constant pattern-seeker. I analyze constantly. It's what I do. I ponder & assess. So here's my take-away. . .

1. I can't please everyone--or want to. This is not news. No need to linger here.

2. Sex is a topic sure to get people talking. It might tie with religion & politics for least wise to discuss with strangers over a round at the bar. No news here either.

3. The way we deal with sex is a reflection of personal values. That doesn't change when we write. A-ha! I'll linger on this topic.

I'm a mom. I'm a teacher by trade. I'm a feminist. I'm a realist. I believe multiplicity is wiser than a narrow two answer plan. When you mix all that together, it means that I don't think that ignoring the role of sexuality is wise or even possible. I certainly couldn't.

At 13, I thought I'd be a virgin until I found "the one."

At 15, I was a rape survivor. That sucked. Eventually, though, I decided I'd reclaim my virginity & make a choice about sex. Being raped & having sex aren't the same, so while my body wasn't virginal, I still was. It's all in the perspective. My "first time " would still be my choice, & so would every other time. It didn't quite work out like that, but when things don't, well, make a new choice. Keep moving.

Over the next couple years, I dated some wonderful people who helped me keep moving. Even with my baggage, sex was still something I thought about. The importance of being with someone intimately was two-fold. I had both fear & a belief that the next time would matter in a good way. I still believe that. I won't be with someone who didn't evoke strong positive emotions in me.

Over the next decade, I dated more wonderful people & somewhere in there discovered the power of choice & the beauty of the human body. I resented the man who'd left me with baggage when he raped me, but I was grateful to the universe for letting me meet people who taught me to rejoice in the physical expression of affection.

Over the years between then & now, life experiences have continued to shape my views of sexuality & sexual expression. It wasn't just my experiences though. I've had students sit in my office & talk to me about their lives--issues ranging from infidelity, to STDS, to rape, to pregnancy, to firsts, to falling in love, to arranged marriage, to discovery of orientation. It's a presence in everyone's lives.

Over those same years, I've had conversation with friends that range those same topics to post-motherhood sex, to coping with sex when one's spouse is gone for months at a time, to open marriages, to impotence, to dating after the death of a spouse, to meshing interests, to . . . the list just keeps going. Humans are sexual beings. It's just in our wiring.

I've had conversations and experiences about the sheer awe of finding a good match. Are these all love maches? Not necessarily. Some are though. Sometimes it's not about love, but friendship or affection. Sometimes, it's about love that's misnamed as affection--or the inverse. It's never simple. It's always deserving of contemplation.

Sex is a part of the human experience. It's a part of our lives--good & bad. It's not something we can ignore though. To suggest that it should be ignored in texts for teens is an insult to teen readers, IMHO (just as it would be an insult to writers to suggest it should be in every book.) Here's the thing: teens aren't still children or all the way adult. I wrote these books for teen readers. There's no way I'm going to insult them by suggesting that there's some mystical thing that happens when adults declare them old enough--and boom, all these real issues of choice, sex, and complex consequences will start at that moment. *eye roll* My solution in dealing with sexuality in text is to be as honest as I can while avoiding anything gratuitous.

To me that means some closed doors too . . . that closed door thing is my real-world response to that "post-sex" chatter that some people indulge in too. It's just not for me. What I share in private with another person is precious. I aim to offer that same privacy to my characters.

Of course, privacy isn't going to result in denial though: sex is there in human life. It's very there. It can make a person do stupid things (teen and adults too) or discover amazing things. It's also something to approach cautiously. Powerful things can often be deadly, life-changing, destruction, creative . . . sex is a powerful thing.

"Did you find that writing INK was harder because you had sold WL? I mean, were you afraid that it wouldn't be as good? (Or wouldn't be BETTER, now that you had a sale?) . . . I want my second one to be better. To do better. And I think wanting that is making me freeze up. Do you have a trick for getting past the panic and letting yourself fall?"

First part first-- yes, I felt that. Totally.

I've pondered why writing the second book was harder. I regularly will say that I think the fact that I kept getting interrupted was part of the challenge. Usually, I think it was the biggest part. But, yeah, some days I think it was the idea of matching or exceeding the things I'd done ok with so far. What's the point of being stagnant?

For me, the fun aspect of that bigger/better plan was structural. It's not near the eventual goals I've set in narrative structure. I'm not sure I'll ever be near those. (But thinking like that also kept me too afraid to try writing for years, so I'll not recommend we spend too much time pondering the things we can't do just yet.) There are times though that the desire to do something better was enough to me me ponder a throw-my-hands-in-the-air-and-bail solution. (In such cases, Spouse calmly says things like, "So, quit. Is there an out clause in the contract? Return the advance & quit." Damn. That takes the wind out of my sails--and I'm grateful for it.)

The let's go bigger/harder thing really manifested in the content too. The logical next book (as several reader reviews cited) was the Dark Court. I started writing this before I sold the books, & it started the book with a memory, actually, of a party with a girl who was way too high. That memory is long since deleted from the novel, but it set the emotional tone. I had a chunk of it written before WL sold, and if I hadn't . . . if the deal was just a 1 book deal, I'm not sure how eagerly I'd have written.

My not-so-secret trick to get by a few tough spots was simply that I had a deadline. Publishers here & overseas had bought this book, so I'd better keep writing, revising, polishing.

I spent a lot of time looking at Ink Exchange & being pretty certain that it would fail, that Wicked Lovely was a fluke (and this is, quite bluntly, on top of my still extreme surprise that WL was receiving such enthusiastic response from my various publishers). Then I looked at INK one day & decided it was better, & gods, what was I thinking in letting anyone read WL. It was when I fell in love to that degree that I began thinking about book 3 . . . and when I looked at WL & INK together & realized that I loved them both but for different reasons, well, it was good.

Tricks & traps:
The second part . . . (wherein I sound less sane than usual) . . . My tricks are really a sort of Pavlovian self-programming. I have motions I go through to write. I do things in certain orders. And I have playlists, always the playlists. I have getting unstuck music. Then I have songs for set sequences or pulling up emotions for what I need to write next. I have raw disturbed music. I have "I'm broken" music. I have hopeful music. I know that I can adjust my moods with sound, so I do. I know that I can evoke certain moods by pondering memories or photos or what have you. I use that. I go totally for the cues. Sensory is key for me.

The next trick is that I look at everything that's wrong, so freaking wrong in texts I've scrawled and try to find ways to do it better.

. . . which might be a trap b/c it leads to the part at which I despair. I rant. I walk with my camera. I meditate. I delete giant chunks of the text. It still sucks. I decide this is all a big mistake even trying to write

. . . and then I realize precisely where I had screwed up & scurry off to write all night. So maybe it's a good trick after all. I dunno. If it wasn't emotional, I'd be bored . . . which would mean actually quitting. ;)

BUT the biggest, most helpful trick is actually that relationship thing I mentioned before--if this book is a new relationship, why would I think it needs compared to another relationship?

In real life, each relationship is new, different, poignant, and essential because it is but is not the same. There are points of comparison sometimes, but it's the difference that makes them so very valuable. In the relationship example--One person I've cared for was a singer, another a visual artist, another a dancer, another a carpenter--all artists . . . BUT with these people there were distinct differences. The singer took me to concerts or dancing; the visual artist was a foodie; the carpenter liked to go to the races; the dancer liked to cook & plan elaborate dates. They were all alike in ways (art & passion) but all so very different in hobbies, speech, appearance, et al. IMO writing is like that. There's a thread of sameness somewhere, a familiarity that resonates. There's also something unique. To try to replicate one relationship with another person or, more to the point, another text is doing a disservice to both.

I don't know if my mental gymnastics to write will hold up long term, but so far it's working . . .

But, "How do you write a book?" feels like something less technical. It's quantifying that which might not need quantified. I think my most honest response is "how do you fall in love"? To me that's the best way to answer this question. I write much like I fall. No, I don't necessarily mean fall into the life-changing loves. There are only a couple of those if we're lucky. But there are others. There are days & experiences where we're so caught that we forget to sleep or eat or stumble because our senses are filling with someone or something so enthralling that life is askew. Writing does that for me. I write characters. I get caught in their threads and the writing of it is addictive in that way that a new relationship or new hobby is--you want to spend free moments with the text. You want to bask in it; you angst over the flaws. It's falling in love.

Now, with most falling & writing, the shine will inevitably fade. The flaws will start seemingly glaringly awful. You must choose then--do I stay here? Is it fixable? Are those flaws fatal? Or do I go? Keep in mind that staying might not mean that it will work out. Going might not mean it won't: that's the thing that is hard to say. There's no right answers here.

With the first book, the one before WL, I stayed. I wrote it. I have loved it. It is flawed though, so I stepped away. Is it fixable? If I let it sit there & will that spark be strong enough to light what needs repaired? Is it better to take the bits I've learned and apply them in a new relationship? Can what I learn in later relationships be retrofitted to the first one? I have no answers.

The second book, Wicked Lovely, was different in that I knew midway that it was going to change my life. I didn't know how much, but I knew there was an almost audible click. This one fits. Of course, like any time we fall, there's no way of predicting how much it will change things. (Would we keep going if we knew?) I knew that it would change my world though. . . no, it's not brilliant. "I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be" . . . It was that buzz when you fall for someone you know will leave a lasting imprint on your life. WL gave me that buzz.

The third book . . . the third book was harder. It was like falling with people constantly interrupting right when the important declarations, first kiss, first other things were about to happen. The last love, WL, needed things--copyedit or travel or cover discussions or . . . and the new love, INK, was put on hold for days on end. I worried a lot that the story of INK would abandon me b/c I kept turned back to deal with WL. I wonder now if I'd have had the epiphanies I needed sooner if I'd been able to concentrate solely on INK. I couldn't, so the process was more stressful.

*pause* It's like having several relationships at once, trying to assure that WL & INK are both being given the right amount of affection; happiness or affection with one has no bearing on happiness or affection with the other (b/c really, the notion that we only have X Amt of affection to give is just silly). Still, there's this random panic that sets in--will I miss a cue in INK b/c WL requires me?

Now in the real world, I've had committed relationships with more than one person at a time. I've had non-committed relationships with more, but with the affection part, two is my preferred max number. I can't do three relationships, but can I in the writing world? I dunno. I'm still going on events for WL, doing tasks for INK's 2008 release, & writing the third book. If these were sequels (part 2 of the same characters' stories), maybe it would be less divisive, but that's not the choice I made.

Book three is Ani's story. She's in INK. There are two other characters in INK whose stories I want to explore--and three for WL I still want to explore--but Ani has my attention right now so going in to a room of people asking about Keenan or Aislinn when Ani's on my mind . . . It's an interesting feeling. It's not technical or logical. It's a "but let me tell you about THIS." It's falling.

ETA: Since then, I became distracted by Seth and book 3 is his. The stuff I wrote with Ani has gone on hold. Ok, not totally b/c I still write bits of hers, but I wonder if all these questions of Ash & Keenan & Seth led me to a bit of falling back in love with themor maybe I just wasn't "over" them yet.

*pause again*

*still pausing*

Here's the thing though--the technical stuff is important. The process is important. If I didn't apply the logic, do the research, focus on the business of writing, this falling would only get me so far on the journey. All of that factors in, but it's not "how I write a book" or "why I write a book." How & why are about the falling. That's my magic potion, my secret recipe.

For me though, it doesn't really matter if it's writing, teaching, slinging drinks, working a dig, anything. If I'm not enthralled by it, I don't have the discipline to do it. This is probably a horrible character flaw, but I tend to think life is meant to be filled with passion, with intensity. It's why I unplug from the computer. It's why I dig the sensory stuff. If it doesn't make you FEEL, why bother?

Of course, if you throw yourself into a thing, an experience, a place, a person, sparks are often inevitable. It's a choice. It's always a choice. If you can take those sparks & make a job or a connection or a home out of it? Why not?